Bringing Down the House by A.R. Casella

Author:A.R. Casella [Casella, A.R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781940562636
Publisher: Laughing Heart Press
Published: 2022-03-09T18:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

NICOLE

Gary doesn’t act all that fussed about Leaf. He says she’s always been weird, so it doesn’t feel like much of a stretch for her to be criminally weird. I’m tempted to tell him that he comes off as plenty weird too, but we want his help, so I keep it to myself.

Then Damien tells him about the mess with his father, and Gary seems both agitated and flattered. Agitated, because he clearly thinks I’m crazy and my crazy has rubbed off on Damien, inspiring him to do impulsive and potentially dangerous things. Flattered, because Damien, who’d be good enough for Broadway if he wasn’t too busy tailing cheaters and potential drug pushers, wants him to act.

That’s when I roll out the cherry topping for his sundae—an offer to help him secure a date with Josie.

“No,” Gary says, shaking his head, “absolutely not. In fact, it’s insulting that you would suggest I need your help.” He shifts his gaze to Damien. “I mean, of course I’ll help you, man. With both things. But I don’t need help with Josie. I have a long-term plan for winning her over.”

“Does your plan involve letting her call you the wrong name multiple times while she prepares increasingly bad tea blends for you?” I quirk my brow. “Because I’m gonna level with you, Larry, it’s not a good look. Women don’t throw their panties at men who refuse to stand up for themselves.” There’s a limp-dick energy to his behavior around her, which is why she keeps fretting about his testosterone. No joke, she rushed out of the back like a paramedic with a cup of low-T tea for him. But from the time I’ve spent with Gary, I’m fairly sure he wouldn’t appreciate it if I said any of that.

The man of the hour glowers at me. “No, they throw them at men who look like Damien, but I can’t change the way I look.”

I give him another glance, taking him in. His hair, too long and limply hanging, is all wrong for the shape of his face, he has wire-rimmed glasses that make him look like a serial killer in training, and then there’s that always-there trench coat. But even though he’s short and kind of hunched, he’s not altogether unfortunate-looking. If he did something for himself, he might even look like Michael J. Fox’s more homely younger brother. Excitement stirs inside of me.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Damien’s friend. I think we can do something to help you. In fact, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten makeover help before now. You work in the theater, for fuck’s sake.” I give Damien a little shove. “Why haven’t you helped him?”

Damien lifts his hands. “I’ve got nothing to do with hair and makeup. That’s Amber’s realm.”

“And Amber is too busy trying to get it on with the various directors to give it much thought,” I muse. “I’ve got to buy that girl a better vibrator. When’s her birthday?” I wave a hand. “Never mind, I can look that up.

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